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寶寶玩游戲一定要有性別之分嘛？

出處：網(wǎng)絡(luò)收集日期：2024-07-25 14:40:58編輯：秩名

玩游戲，無(wú)性別！

 
男孩玩打仗，女孩過(guò)家家，這是我們最常見(jiàn)到，也最容易接受的現(xiàn)象。然而，倘若反過(guò)來(lái)，女孩喜歡打打殺殺，男孩偏好陰柔的游戲，我們難免困惑。玩游戲，一定要區(qū)分性別嗎？
 

※男孩玩打仗，女孩過(guò)家家※

 
通常，男孩都比較偏愛(ài)那些打打殺殺、競(jìng)爭(zhēng)激烈、有較強(qiáng)破壞力、能夠探究前因后果、規(guī)則意識(shí)強(qiáng)烈的游戲。一個(gè)玩具給他們，他們常常抑制不住內(nèi)在的興奮，急于拆開(kāi)看個(gè)究竟，以了解其中的原理，或者看看自己能對(duì)這個(gè)玩具做點(diǎn)什么。因?yàn)榇蠖鄶?shù)的男孩都喜歡敲敲打打，以致要不了多久就可能讓他們的新玩具體無(wú)完膚。不僅如此，他們手中的每個(gè)玩具，都可能成為“武器”，讓他們變得更有力量，更強(qiáng)大。
 
女孩則被普遍認(rèn)為天生懂得關(guān)懷、照顧他人，更注重關(guān)系，也更愛(ài)惜玩具。無(wú)論什么樣的物品到她們手里，都可能被注入感情，或成為她們拓展關(guān)系的基礎(chǔ)，用來(lái)玩各種富有母性的游戲，如煮飯、照顧孩子，玩各種感情豐富、貼近現(xiàn)實(shí)生活的角色扮演游戲等。
 
大多數(shù)孩子在游戲時(shí)都會(huì)有這種明顯的性別偏好。不過(guò)，也有例外。有些女孩可能對(duì)那些富有母性的游戲完全沒(méi)有興趣，偏偏喜歡混在男孩堆里玩耍，成為假小子；有些男孩則溫順、陰柔，對(duì)打打殺殺的游戲不屑一顧，甚至偏愛(ài)做飯、照顧病人等“女孩的游戲”。
 
記得有位媽媽提到，她不到3歲的兒子對(duì)汽車(chē)、槍炮、機(jī)械、積木等偏男孩化的玩具完全沒(méi)有興趣。每次逛商場(chǎng)，小家伙看上的都是仿真廚具、絨布娃娃等“女孩玩具”，甚至對(duì)媽媽的化妝品也充滿了好奇，總有嘗試的沖動(dòng)。媽媽對(duì)此十分困擾，擔(dān)心孩子的性別意識(shí)有問(wèn)題。
 

※游戲，無(wú)關(guān)性別※

 
誠(chéng)然，男孩、女孩不同的游戲偏好決定了他們未來(lái)的走向，對(duì)孩子性別意識(shí)的形成與定位確實(shí)有著積極的意義。也因此，當(dāng)男孩女孩的“游戲取向”偏離我們期待的時(shí)候，大多數(shù)的家長(zhǎng)都會(huì)內(nèi)心恐慌，產(chǎn)生諸多疑慮：孩子會(huì)不會(huì)由此性別意識(shí)產(chǎn)生錯(cuò)位，男孩女性化、女孩男性化，甚至將來(lái)成為同性戀，為這個(gè)社會(huì)所難以接納呢？顧慮到這樣一個(gè)后果，在擔(dān)憂之余，我們很可能給孩子貼各種負(fù)面標(biāo)簽，想方設(shè)法去改變孩子，給孩子帶來(lái)壓力，引發(fā)親子沖突，讓孩子覺(jué)得自己不好，損害孩子的自我價(jià)值感。
 
實(shí)際上，對(duì)孩子來(lái)說(shuō)，游戲僅僅是游戲，跟性別意識(shí)沒(méi)有必然的聯(lián)系。女孩子玩男孩子的游戲，男孩子玩女孩子的游戲，都不過(guò)是孩子成長(zhǎng)過(guò)程中一個(gè)小小的插曲而已。很多小時(shí)候的“假小子”，成年后同樣是極富母性的好媽媽；很多小時(shí)候很溫順、陰柔的小男孩，成年后也可以是頂天立地的男子漢。每個(gè)孩子都是特別的個(gè)體，他們可以有自己獨(dú)特的游戲偏好，無(wú)需依照我們的價(jià)值觀去改變自己。因此，當(dāng)孩子偏好的游戲與我們的期待不相吻合時(shí)，我們無(wú)需焦慮。孩子特別感興趣的事情，也許就是他將來(lái)的發(fā)展方向，正確引導(dǎo)，一切便在掌控中。
 

※性別意識(shí)錯(cuò)位不是游戲的錯(cuò)※

 
如果孩子出現(xiàn)性別意識(shí)錯(cuò)位的現(xiàn)象，那并非是游戲的錯(cuò)，而是跟家庭養(yǎng)育方式有關(guān)，也跟孩子所處的環(huán)境有關(guān)。比如，有的家庭特別期待男孩，結(jié)果偏偏養(yǎng)育了一個(gè)女孩，或者相反。當(dāng)孩子的性別與我們的期待不相吻合時(shí)，有些家長(zhǎng)潛意識(shí)里就會(huì)照著自己期待的性別方向養(yǎng)育孩子，或者無(wú)意間表露出更喜異性別的孩子，這就可能暗示孩子朝著父母期待的性別靠近，導(dǎo)致孩子性別意識(shí)錯(cuò)位。
 
另外，若孩子長(zhǎng)期處在性別單一的養(yǎng)育環(huán)境，缺乏異性別的成員參與，撫養(yǎng)人沒(méi)有留意及時(shí)給予彌補(bǔ)，也會(huì)導(dǎo)致孩子性別意識(shí)錯(cuò)位。如夫妻離異，單親養(yǎng)育孩子，撫養(yǎng)孩子的一方排斥離異的另一方，甚至心懷怨恨，并將這種怨恨傳遞給孩子，可能就會(huì)導(dǎo)致孩子對(duì)性別的認(rèn)同出現(xiàn)偏差。
 
若我們很自然地接納孩子本來(lái)的模樣，營(yíng)造適合孩子性別意識(shí)形成的家庭環(huán)境或者外部環(huán)境，孩子對(duì)自己的性別自然不會(huì)出現(xiàn)偏差，我們也無(wú)需因?yàn)槟泻ⅰ⑴⒂螒虻牟町惗箲]。
 

※順勢(shì)讓游戲引導(dǎo)性別取向※

 
當(dāng)男孩更傾向于女孩游戲、女孩更傾向于男孩游戲時(shí)，一方面，我們沒(méi)必要如臨大敵，大可以放松面對(duì)；另一方面，我們也可以順勢(shì)而為，幫助孩子將游戲拓展到更適合他性別的方向。
 
如，男孩子喜歡做飯，也許我們給他機(jī)會(huì)，他將來(lái)成為頂級(jí)的美食家、廚藝家。男孩喜歡玩媽媽的化妝品，我們也不必緊張，他未必因此就成長(zhǎng)為一個(gè)娘娘腔的男人——若我們引導(dǎo)他去研究化妝品的成分、香型、功用、色調(diào)、產(chǎn)地、適應(yīng)人群……將其拓展成一個(gè)富有探索意義的游戲，這個(gè)游戲便會(huì)轉(zhuǎn)向，如此，我們就可以不打壓孩子的興趣、給他貼負(fù)面的標(biāo)簽、帶給他壓力，甚至最終逼迫他性別錯(cuò)位，同時(shí)又可以給他更多研究的機(jī)會(huì)。而孩子經(jīng)由這樣的引導(dǎo)，也許將來(lái)就會(huì)在研制化妝品這個(gè)行業(yè)走得很遠(yuǎn)，或因化妝品的某個(gè)特性拓展，對(duì)與之相關(guān)的其他行業(yè)如化學(xué)、旅游、健康、醫(yī)藥……產(chǎn)生興趣。而這些行業(yè)，無(wú)所謂性別之分。
 
總之，游戲無(wú)性別。男孩不會(huì)因?yàn)橥媪?ldquo;女孩游戲”就變得女性化，女孩也不會(huì)因?yàn)橥媪?ldquo;男孩游戲”而變得男性化。對(duì)孩子來(lái)說(shuō)，他的未來(lái)有太多的可能性，我們無(wú)需狹隘地去面對(duì)。實(shí)際上，無(wú)論孩子玩什么樣的游戲，若我們淡定面對(duì)，自然接納，不因?yàn)閮?nèi)心恐懼給孩子施加壓力，并在這個(gè)基礎(chǔ)上因勢(shì)利導(dǎo)，男孩游戲一樣可以滋養(yǎng)女性意識(shí)，女孩游戲也可以發(fā)展男性意識(shí)。如此，我們還有什么可以擔(dān)憂的呢？

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