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父爸媽缺席成長 BB易缺安全感

出處：網(wǎng)絡(luò)收集日期：2025-01-06 17:29:04編輯：秩名
警惕 父母缺席或致孩子缺乏安全感
 
　　妞妞，3歲，閨蜜家的女兒。
 
　　半歲斷奶后，因為閨蜜要重返職場，妞妞沒人照看，只能送回老家給爺爺奶奶照顧。
 
　　孩子快2歲時，閨蜜接回來身邊自己照顧。
 
 
　　可是，問題來了，妞妞回老家一年多，身上的壞毛病不是一般的多，比如吃飯要人喂，出門要人抱不愿意走路，睡覺也要摸著媽媽的脖子才能睡著，不愛跟小朋友玩，性格非常內(nèi)向。
 
　　閨蜜后悔死了，悔恨當初不應(yīng)該把妞妞送回去。從閨蜜的描述來看，妞妞的問題可能是因為父母長期不在身邊，更多是缺乏安全感導(dǎo)致的。
 
　　美國著名心理學(xué)家馬斯洛認為，安全感是孩子心靈成長的重要基石，能幫孩子更好地融入社會，這與父母的教養(yǎng)方式關(guān)系密切。而在現(xiàn)實中，有許多的孩子存在缺乏安全感的情況。在缺乏安全感環(huán)境中長大的孩子，往往會加劇不良心理的發(fā)展，甚至有的時候會采取一些極端的方法來解決問題。
 
　　如果孩子出現(xiàn)以下異常舉動，可能就是安全感缺失的表現(xiàn)。那么，爸爸媽媽應(yīng)該怎么做呢?
 
　　1、害怕與陌生人接觸，經(jīng)常害羞。妞妞在家里還算正常，可每次去小區(qū)玩，見到人多的地方都要求繞路走。從來不跟小朋友一起玩，見到同一棟樓的叔叔阿姨不愿意打招呼，一直躲在媽媽身后，總是低著頭，沒有任何的眼神交流。第一次上早教課，妞妞情緒也不穩(wěn)定，完全不敢與老師交流互動。
 
　　◆ 建議：
 
　　面對權(quán)威(如老師、長輩)感到害怕，見到陌生人害羞，都是缺乏安全感的表現(xiàn)。建議家長多帶孩子出去玩，最好有3-5個固定的玩伴，多接觸不同性格的孩子，慢慢適應(yīng)人多熱鬧的環(huán)境。當孩子面對陌生人害羞或害怕時，家長不要斥責，要包容孩子，可以采取親近的方法給孩子減壓，比如摸摸他的頭、蹲下來親切地安慰他。請老師或周圍的鄰居多鼓勵孩子，共同幫助她。
 
　　2、父母在與不在大不同。比如帶妞妞去鄰居家里玩，媽媽在身邊的時候，妞妞還比較放松，跟小朋友一起搭積木。一旦媽媽離開，妞妞就開始緊張，四處找媽媽，一刻也不愿意多待。
 
　　◆ 建議：
 
　　依賴父母也是孩子缺乏安全感的表現(xiàn)，可能與獲得關(guān)愛不夠有關(guān)。建議首先多跟孩子做情感交流，因為妞妞長期跟老人在一起，終于回到媽媽身邊，就像捉住了一根救命稻草，害怕再失去。出現(xiàn)類似情況后，父母可采用觸膚情感刺激幫孩子找回安全感。比如每天下班回家先抱抱孩子，睡前給孩子一個吻，周末多陪陪孩子。
 
　　3、睡覺不踏實。妞妞睡覺喜歡一直摸著媽媽的脖子，或者睡覺時要求媽媽抱緊她。如果媽媽中途離開，妞妞很快就會嚇醒，一直哭鬧不止。
 
　　◆ 建議：
 
　　孩子睡覺時輾轉(zhuǎn)反側(cè)，睡的也不踏實，還會時不時的摸摸身邊是否有人，也是缺乏安全感的表現(xiàn)。建議家長睡前給孩子講故事，通過講故事的方式引導(dǎo)孩子放松心情，相信媽媽不會隨便離開。另外，多聽輕音樂，可以舒緩人的精神，調(diào)節(jié)情緒。
 
　　4、總與小朋友起沖突。稍有不順心就發(fā)脾氣，喜歡用暴力解決問題。幸好妞妞沒有這個問題。
 
　　◆ 建議：
 
　　這類孩子的家長往往態(tài)度簡單粗暴，家庭氛圍也不和諧，導(dǎo)致孩子對外界人和事心存戒備。他們用霸道的行為掩蓋內(nèi)心的敏感與脆弱。建議家長首先要反省自己，而不是一味責怪或打罵孩子。其次要營造和諧的家庭氛圍。以身作則，遇事講道理，逐步引導(dǎo)孩子養(yǎng)成平和、友善的性格。
 
 
　　安全感是孩子在成長中建立對他人、對世界的信任感，是兒童生存的基本需求。孩子安全感的培養(yǎng)，離不開父母的陪伴和引導(dǎo)。從小擁有一個健康的生長環(huán)境，對孩子安全感的建立是至關(guān)重要的。所以，父母應(yīng)該多花時間陪孩子，增進親子關(guān)系，多關(guān)注他們的學(xué)習和生活，有意識的培養(yǎng)孩子的安全感，讓他們更自信的面對以后的人生。

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