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教育優(yōu)秀的孩子？育兒專家的多個案例分析

出處：媽媽育兒網(wǎng)日期：2013-02-27 11:22:51編輯：Chen

都說孩子的品牌好壞，和良好的家庭教育有著直接的關(guān)系。所以說，如何教育出優(yōu)秀的孩子，就成了所有父母都想知道的“秘訣”。為了讓各位家長學(xué)習(xí)到好的教育方式，今天，我們特意請來了一位經(jīng)驗媽媽金韻蓉，她的孩子現(xiàn)在十分優(yōu)秀，在這里她分享了一些教育的心得體會，我們就來學(xué)習(xí)一下她的教子方法。

主持人：金老師，網(wǎng)友比較關(guān)心您的家庭和孩子，您的孩子是一個非常優(yōu)秀的孩子。您覺得他身上有什么樣您覺得比較優(yōu)秀的品質(zhì)？

金韻蓉：您是指小時候還是現(xiàn)在？

主持人：都有。

金韻蓉：我先炫耀一下他現(xiàn)在，他現(xiàn)在當(dāng)然很帥很高，做母親的任何一個母親看自己的孩子都覺得太可愛了，我也一樣。如果現(xiàn)在可愛的話最優(yōu)秀的品質(zhì)我最滿意的我最驕傲最放心的一個品質(zhì)就是有教養(yǎng)的孩子，我看他與人相處，他處理一些事情覺得是一個有教養(yǎng)的孩子，這一點讓我非常放心。

我總喜歡說，你如果到國外的名牌大學(xué)不管是美國不管是英國甚至是任何一個大學(xué)教育很棒的國家，你去那些名牌大學(xué)看一看，這些名牌大學(xué)的前十名的學(xué)生大部分是中國學(xué)生，中國學(xué)生在國外念名牌大學(xué)學(xué)習(xí)成績很好已經(jīng)是司空見慣的事情，我兒子不是在名牌大學(xué)前幾名的孩子，他書念的不錯，但是沒有好到那個地步。

如果去世界五百強看一些工作特別棒的工作能力很好賺很多薪水的人也很多中國人，我兒子也不是那種工作特別棒賺特別多錢特別優(yōu)秀的孩子，他就是一個還不錯的孩子。

他最棒的一點他有教養(yǎng)，這個教養(yǎng)體現(xiàn)在很多方面，他對人很有禮貌這是一定的，他之所以有教養(yǎng)他有足夠的自信心，有時候有人你會發(fā)覺這個人有攻擊性，這個人沒有教養(yǎng)很害怕，如果我有教養(yǎng)你看不起我，你沒有打我之前我先聲多人，沒有自信。他的教養(yǎng)來自于他的自信。

主持人：讓孩子有自信，您是怎么做的？

金韻蓉：這個是我被問過最多最多的問題就是怎么樣讓孩子可以由自信，我特別語重心長的跟搜狐的朋友們尤其是媽媽們交流，如果說你真的希望自己的孩子是有自信新的孩子，孩子的自信心絕對來源于安全感，一個孩子如果沒有安全感很難有自信心，我們總是說孩子有獨立，為自己負責(zé)，我的孩子要有自信，要注意力等等，這些后面來源于一個非常重要的情緒，這個情緒就是孩子必須覺得他是安全的。這個安全感體現(xiàn)在什么？

尤其是體現(xiàn)在父母之間給家庭所制造的氛圍，比如我們都曾經(jīng)是孩子，我們自己都能夠做這樣的一個證明，如果我看見爸爸媽媽在吵架，也許他們倆并沒有罵我，但是他們倆吵的一塌糊涂不可開交，我這時候嚇死了，所有父母吵架的孩子自己躲在一邊哭很害怕，怎么可能給他安全感？我們給孩子一個安全的家庭氛圍，你可以有意見，但是能不能不當(dāng)著孩子的面大吵大鬧，或者我們沒有吵架但是家庭的氛圍冷的不行，或者孩子發(fā)現(xiàn)媽媽在哭，爸爸摔門諸如此類。

小一點的孩子避免在孩子面前吵架，大一點的孩子如果真的遇到問題，媽媽出什么事了，大部分母親說沒事你別管，只要念好書就行，大人的事不要管，退回房間。這個對于孩子來講寧愿告訴你媽媽爸爸為了哪件事情不開心意見有不一致的地方，爸爸認為怎么怎么樣，媽媽認為怎么怎么樣，但是沒有關(guān)系我們能找到解決的方法，不要把他丟回房間。

第二，如果說我就是一個特別害羞的孩子，我在學(xué)校里面就是不敢跟同學(xué)說話或者就有一種人欺負我，我回家以后不想說，爸爸會說你怎么男孩子沒出息，你要勇敢，或者媽媽說你打回去要跟老實說，你拒絕孩子的情緒，對孩子來講他會覺得我投訴無門。

我每天嚇的半死，回家沒有一個人能夠告訴他把我的情緒卸下來，讓我覺得沒有安全感，我們一定要學(xué)會承接孩子的情緒。比如今天孩子在外面打了一架回來，看到他明顯受傷，你特別想在第一時間告訴他說你怎么又打架了，這個就是沒有承接他的情緒。你可以說，疼不疼？是不是特別怎么樣？可以關(guān)心他受到什么樣的傷害，今天有什么樣的情緒問題，先抱住他告訴他沒事了，媽媽在這個地方，沒關(guān)系。

你溫柔的幫他洗干凈，你溫柔的幫他包扎傷口，等到一切都時過境遷他所有的情緒都冷靜下來，他已經(jīng)平復(fù)了已經(jīng)安全了，第二天你再告訴他說現(xiàn)在告訴媽媽為什么去打架，不一定只有打架可以解決問題，這時候再說，而不是當(dāng)下說你怎么又打架。并不是說我們不處理問題，不是說我們不教育孩子，等所有的情緒都卸下來完全安靜下來再跟他談。

主持人：您真是一個溫柔的媽媽，背后又很深懷。您覺得您兒子身上另外一個在他十歲的時候送到英國去念書，當(dāng)時您這么說的時候有沒有感覺明白了，他是安全的，您從小給他這種安全感，其次是不是對他的獨立性很有信心？

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