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6個習慣會讓孩子變笨 甚至抑郁

出處：網(wǎng)絡(luò)收集日期：2025-01-16 12:07:58編輯：秩名
6個習慣會讓孩子變笨 甚至抑郁
 
　　從心理學的角度來說，孩子的智商是天生的，并且絕大部分孩子的智商沒有太大差異(像愛因斯坦這樣智商超群的人，在人群中的比例是極小的)。
 
　　可是為什么有的孩子看起來比較聰明，有的孩子卻看起來很笨拙、沒自信，甚至還有點抑郁呢?
 
　　這可能是家長惹的禍!我們的一些行為，會讓原本聰明伶俐的孩子變成抑郁的“笨小孩”!（關(guān)注微信訂閱號：朵媽親子時光，聊聊親子育兒那些事）
 
 
　　1、經(jīng)常說孩子笨
 
　　你身邊有那些經(jīng)常說自己的孩子笨的家長嗎?如果有，那他的孩子真有可能“如他所愿”，變得越來越笨!
 
　　因為，孩子對自己的認識受他人評價的影響很大，特別是自己最親近的人，這種評價就是一種暗示，讓孩子覺得自己就是這樣一個人。
 
　　朵媽之前有個鄰居，經(jīng)常下班后對著孩子罵“你怎么這么笨呢?我生了一個廢物!”隔著一道墻，我都能感受到孩子受到了一萬點傷害。
 
　　據(jù)孩子的奶奶說，孩子上幼兒園后經(jīng)?？摁[，畫畫、做手工都非常馬虎。老師要求大家畫一家三口，他畫的都是一些亂七八糟的怪圈圈……
 
　　看到怪讓人心疼的!希望所有的爸媽都不要對自己的孩子說這句話，“你真笨”這三個字真會像一個詛咒一樣靈驗。
 
　　2、家長太聰明、太勤快
 
　　還有一些家長，喜歡用自己的“聰明勤快”來幫助孩子解決問題。比如：
 
　　親朋好友跟孩子打招呼了，孩子說話還不那么流利，反應(yīng)較慢，家長這時就按捺不住了，上前替孩子回答!
 
　　看到孩子正在用稚拙的小手搭著積木，怎么搭都搭不好，家長看不過眼了，擼起袖子上前，嘩嘩嘩幾下子就幫孩子建成了一座高樓!
 
　　而實際上那些真的懂孩子的爸媽會知道，我們在孩子面前表現(xiàn)得笨一點、慢一點，更有利增強孩子的自信心，鍛煉孩子解決問題的能力。
 
　　比如去商店買東西，我們可以給機會讓孩子找到商品的位置，算出商品的價格。或者，吃飯的時候，讓孩子來數(shù)數(shù)要多少個碗，多少雙筷子。
 
　　越是有耐心的家長，越懂得“裝笨”的家長，越有可能養(yǎng)出一個自信、聰明的孩子。
 
　　3、忽略陪伴的作用
 
　　在經(jīng)濟快速發(fā)展的年代，很多家長會犧牲陪伴孩子的時間，把更多的精力放在工作上(事實上有些家長并沒那么忙，沒有時間陪孩子是因為要“陪”手機)。
 
　　他們并不認為，少一點陪伴會對孩子的成長有什么負面影響，在他們看來“我努力賺錢就是為了讓孩子有更好的生活、上更好的學校、有更高的起點!”
 
　　然而，你可知道再好的學校、老師，對孩子的影響都不如你的陪伴和教育重要?
 
　　孩子出生的頭幾年，對父母的依賴是最強的，這時候如果父母給予的陪伴和關(guān)注不夠，孩子的安全感就有可能會受到影響，在陌生的環(huán)境里或遇到問題時，更容易感到焦慮不安。
 
　　而那些內(nèi)心安全感滿滿的孩子，更少有緊張焦慮的體驗，就算暫時解決不了問題，也敢大膽地向周圍人求助。
 
　　你希望自己的孩子是哪一種類型呢?
 
　　4、父母沒有學習、閱讀的習慣
 
　　朵媽一直覺得，孩子上不上早教班并沒有那么重要，但父母是否有閱讀的習慣、有沒有經(jīng)常陪孩子閱讀學習，這就很重要了!
 
　　父母是孩子的第一任老師，也是孩子終身的老師。父母學習、閱讀的習慣，會對孩子產(chǎn)生巨大的影響。
 
　　知名教育家蘇霍姆林斯基說過：“缺乏閱讀能力，將會阻礙和抑制腦的極其細微的連接性纖維的可塑性，使他們不能順利地保證神經(jīng)元之間的聯(lián)系。”
 
　　想讓孩子更聰明，那就跟孩子一起學習閱讀吧!這不僅能讓孩子更聰明，還能讓孩子得到書籍的滋養(yǎng)、文化的熏陶、培養(yǎng)孩子的注意力、想象力……
 
　　總之，親子共讀的好處太多了!如果你有閱讀的習慣，那你的孩子肯定不會差到哪里去!
 
　　5、強迫孩子學習，不允許玩耍
 
　　有的家長，把“玩耍”看作是不思進取的表現(xiàn)，認為孩子太貪玩就會影響學習。然而，一個只會學習不會玩耍的孩子，ta的生活該多么的無趣?
 
　　別限制孩子玩耍的自由!游戲是兒童的天性，世界上很多著名的幼兒園對幼兒教育所秉持的宗旨就是“玩”，這不僅能讓孩子在快樂的氛圍中學到許多生活技能，增長孩子的交際能力，還能培養(yǎng)孩子的想象能力，思維能力!
 
　　愛玩的孩子，對生活總是保持著好奇心，當ta把這種探索的精神投入到學習中來，你還愁ta的學習成績不好?
 
　　6、不允許孩子哭
 
　　“不許哭!”
 
　　當孩子的眼淚在眼眶里打轉(zhuǎn)了，你會對ta說出這三個字嗎?
 
　　會?偶爾會?還是經(jīng)常都這樣?
 
　　孩子哭鬧之所以會讓很多大人感到糾結(jié)焦慮，是因為他們覺得孩子一旦哭了，他們就對孩子失去了控制力，這種失控的慌張感使得他們希望孩子馬上安靜下來!
 
　　然而，如果你嘗試著去允許孩子哭，跟他說“想哭就哭吧，哭完你會舒服很多的。”你會發(fā)現(xiàn)孩子哭完之后整個人都舒坦了很多。（關(guān)注微信訂閱號：朵媽親子時光，聊聊親子育兒那些事）
 
　　那些被允許哭的孩子，會對自己的情緒有更理性的認識，每一次的情緒體驗，都是一次成長。
 
　　相反，要是內(nèi)心積聚的不安、憤怒沒有發(fā)泄出來，孩子可能會變得更抑郁、易怒。這樣的小孩，看起來自然就不再是一個開朗的聰明小孩了!

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