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孩子不聽(tīng)話只會(huì)吼?一招助化解

出處：網(wǎng)絡(luò)收集日期：2024-11-13 18:34:03編輯：秩名
孩子不聽(tīng)話只會(huì)吼？這位爸爸一招讓孩子笑著做事！
 
　　媽媽：“快點(diǎn)吃飯!”
 
　　孩子：“不，我不吃飯!”
 
　　媽媽：“快點(diǎn)睡覺(jué)!”
 
　　孩子：“不，我不睡覺(jué)!”
 
　　說(shuō)了很多遍還是不聽(tīng)，媽媽氣極了，便開(kāi)始大吼：“你到底吃不吃飯/睡不睡覺(jué)!”
 
　　可想而知，孩子要么被媽媽的大吼大叫嚇到，只好不情愿地服從，要么就是沒(méi)什么用，甚至還跟媽媽對(duì)著干。
 
　　這樣的情形，在有孩子的家庭，相信都不陌生，有多少爸爸媽媽總是要到“吼”的份上，孩子才聽(tīng)?
 
 
　　范媽今天分享一位美國(guó)爸爸的殺手锏，一招就讓不聽(tīng)話的孩子笑著做事，這個(gè)方法其實(shí)并不新鮮，但孩子不聽(tīng)話、搗蛋的時(shí)候，爸媽也試試這樣做，或許有不錯(cuò)的效果。
 
　　1
 
　　詹姆斯是美國(guó)東部小城鎮(zhèn)上，一個(gè)5歲小男孩湯姆的爸爸。他在國(guó)際育兒交流會(huì)上的分享獲得了無(wú)數(shù)的掌聲。在鄰居眼里，他是個(gè)活潑又富有耐心的好爸爸。
 
　　有一天，詹姆斯和妻子臨時(shí)有事趕著出門，要把湯姆帶到鄰居家?guī)兔φ湛?。但是小湯姆卻怎么也不肯換衣服。
 
　　這時(shí)，詹姆斯親了親小湯姆，說(shuō)：“親愛(ài)的，我理解你換衣服很麻煩，但是你應(yīng)該不希望自己像個(gè)小臟貓似的出現(xiàn)在露絲妹妹(鄰居家的小孫女，湯姆的“小情人”)面前吧。你今天想穿藍(lán)色的還是紅色的衣服，或者想穿有機(jī)器人圖案的還是小袋鼠圖案的?”
 
　　小湯姆：“我喜歡小袋鼠……”
 
　　詹姆斯：“太好了，我非常喜歡你穿小袋鼠圖案衣服的樣子，看起來(lái)活潑有趣。”
 
　　小湯姆：“好，我要穿小袋鼠圖案的。”馬上就興高采烈地穿起了衣服。
 
　　于是，媽媽和小湯姆持續(xù)了半個(gè)小時(shí)的拉鋸戰(zhàn)，就這樣一下子被爸爸簡(jiǎn)單化解了。不僅解決了沖突，而且還是讓孩子高興地主動(dòng)去做。
 
　　還有一次晚飯后，詹姆斯的妻子安妮端出了削好的蘋(píng)果，插上一片給小湯姆吃。誰(shuí)知小湯姆卻開(kāi)始“捍衛(wèi)”最近在學(xué)校學(xué)習(xí)的人權(quán)，捂著嘴抗議：“我有不吃蘋(píng)果的權(quán)利!你侵犯了我的選擇權(quán)。”一連幾天都不吃媽媽遞來(lái)的水果。
 
　　媽媽很氣惱，吃水果對(duì)身體好，但又不知道怎么對(duì)付倔強(qiáng)的小湯姆。
 
　　這時(shí)，詹姆斯剝了一根香蕉，洗了一些葡萄，削了一個(gè)梨，還剝了一個(gè)獼猴桃，切好后端到小湯姆和妻子面前。
 
　　詹姆斯說(shuō)：“小湯姆當(dāng)然有權(quán)利啊，我和媽媽都很贊同呢!那現(xiàn)在你有權(quán)利選擇吃蘋(píng)果、香蕉、葡萄還是梨?或者一塊蘋(píng)果、一個(gè)葡萄這樣組合著吃?”
 
　　原來(lái)還在撅著嘴的小湯姆聽(tīng)到爸爸的話，很快就眉開(kāi)眼笑，一邊用叉子插著蘋(píng)果、香蕉，一邊說(shuō)：“我的權(quán)利我做主，不要媽媽管!”
 
　　2
 
　　孩子不聽(tīng)話的時(shí)候，想做好真的不容易，有時(shí)氣壞了就會(huì)大吼大叫，甚至打罵孩子。
 
　　我們生氣時(shí)其實(shí)是把孩子當(dāng)成了假想敵，想控制孩子，他一定會(huì)反抗，跟大人作對(duì)，這種情況下，就不能從根本上解決問(wèn)題，反而會(huì)讓孩子效仿我們，讓孩子養(yǎng)成向我們吼叫的習(xí)慣，不僅破壞了親子關(guān)系，讓孩子不愿意合作，而且也讓孩子不尊重父母，親子教育難以繼續(xù)。
 
　　而上面介紹的詹姆斯所用的方法，其實(shí)有個(gè)專業(yè)的名詞，叫「非暴力溝通」。
 
　　這個(gè)方法的本質(zhì)就是，尊重、不否定孩子，先認(rèn)同孩子的想法和做法，消除孩子的心理抗拒，然后在大人可控的范圍內(nèi)讓孩子自己做主，而不是強(qiáng)行讓孩子按照大人的想法來(lái)做事，從而化解親子沖突。
 
　　每個(gè)孩子的個(gè)性都不一樣，爸爸媽媽遇到的問(wèn)題也各有不同，但是尊重和非暴力，始終是我們親子溝通應(yīng)該把握的基本原則。比如：
 
　　不吃飯——我理解你現(xiàn)在可能不是很餓，但吃飯是必須的，吃好了才能身體健康，才能做其他事情。你希望吃完飯玩捉迷藏游戲還是自己洗碗?(不吃飯要承擔(dān)責(zé)任)
 
　　不睡覺(jué)——我贊同睡覺(jué)會(huì)少了一些樂(lè)趣，但是睡覺(jué)才有體力，也能長(zhǎng)高高。你希望躺床上聽(tīng)媽媽講故事還是爸爸講故事?(跟爸爸感情甜膩得不得了)
 
　　……
 
　　當(dāng)然，上面分享的只是一種參考的方法。相信不少爸爸媽媽在跟孩子斗智斗勇的過(guò)程中，都有一些自己的小訣竅，歡迎留言分享哦~

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