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預(yù)防孩子行為偏差的30個(gè)案例 教育孩子必學(xué)的方法(9)

出處：媽媽育兒網(wǎng)日期：2016-03-05 16:30:03編輯：admin

案例17：還給孩子一個(gè)快樂(lè)的童年

女兒朵朵還沒(méi)出生，我就開(kāi)始規(guī)劃她的未來(lái)。7個(gè)月起開(kāi)始識(shí)字，把所有的家具都貼上漢字標(biāo)簽；從《三字經(jīng)》、《千字文》到唐詩(shī)，一字一句地教她背誦。朵朵的記憶力非常好，背得又快又準(zhǔn)。這令我驕傲不已?？傻人?歲，問(wèn)題卻來(lái)了：她太安靜了，同齡孩子都在外面玩，她卻一個(gè)人在角落里看書(shū)。

這讓我開(kāi)始反思：我的操之過(guò)急會(huì)不會(huì)毀掉她本該快樂(lè)的童年？我小時(shí)候和小伙伴快樂(lè)無(wú)憂(yōu)地玩耍，和神奇的大自然親密接觸……哪有什么早教？哪認(rèn)得什么字？現(xiàn)在我不是也很好嗎？

我決定改變，不再?gòu)?qiáng)迫朵朵額外學(xué)太多知識(shí)，而朵朵的成績(jī)卻一直名列前茅。每天看著朵朵自由、開(kāi)心的笑臉，我感到無(wú)比知足。

專(zhuān)家點(diǎn)評(píng)：

童年生活具有獨(dú)特、不可替代的價(jià)值?？珊⒆拥耐陞s常常背負(fù)成人太多的期望，未出生時(shí)就提前“規(guī)劃”，7個(gè)月就提前教識(shí)字、背唐詩(shī)……“不能輸在起跑線(xiàn)上”的代價(jià)就是犧牲孩子的快樂(lè)和自由?？上驳氖牵瑡寢尲皶r(shí)反思了自己的問(wèn)題，果斷“放棄”，讓女兒回歸了快樂(lè)童年，獲得了健康成長(zhǎng)。

預(yù)防孩子行為偏差的30個(gè)案例 教育孩子必學(xué)的方法

案例18：別讓強(qiáng)制的學(xué)習(xí)奪走童年的快樂(lè)

在“望子成龍”的心態(tài)驅(qū)使下，我曾給過(guò)孩子很多強(qiáng)制的“愛(ài)”。比如周末，我給他安排了一整天的課程，壓得他喘不過(guò)氣來(lái)，他稍有退步我便會(huì)大發(fā)雷霆，甚至動(dòng)用家庭暴力，我常常能看到孩子眼中的怨恨與不滿(mǎn)。

每當(dāng)孩子厭煩的時(shí)候，我又是好言相勸，又是物質(zhì)獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)，把我以為的“特殊的愛(ài)”強(qiáng)加在他身上。直到有一天，我發(fā)現(xiàn)，物質(zhì)已不再有吸引力，而且他開(kāi)始極力地避開(kāi)我。“學(xué)習(xí)”，無(wú)情地拉開(kāi)了我和孩子的距離。

我也想當(dāng)“慈母”，可事實(shí)上，我卻是個(gè)“暴母”，無(wú)法控制自己的情緒，我是不是太自私、太功利了？！

去年我參加了教育心理學(xué)的培訓(xùn)，我懂得了很多，重新找到了愛(ài)的方向。作為母親要讓孩子在興趣的促使下主動(dòng)學(xué)習(xí)，而不應(yīng)把自己的意愿強(qiáng)加到孩子身上，讓孩子在焦慮與緊張的氛圍下生活。我要改變，先從放下自己的期望開(kāi)始，尊重孩子的興趣。

專(zhuān)家點(diǎn)評(píng)：

我們常常借“愛(ài)”的名義綁架孩子，讓孩子背負(fù)我們的焦慮，完成我們未完成的期待。讓孩子成為他自己，按他的節(jié)奏成長(zhǎng)，勝過(guò)所有“愛(ài)”的語(yǔ)言和物質(zhì)。

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