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“強(qiáng)勢”媽媽易對孩子造成三個(gè)危害

出處：媽媽育兒網(wǎng)日期：2014-05-02 10:21:54編輯：Chen

俗話說“可憐天下父母心”，不管是溺愛式的家庭教育還是“軍訓(xùn)”式的教育方法，不管這些做法是對是錯(cuò)，但都是父母的一片苦心，而他們的目的也都是為了孩子好。

“虎毒不食子”的道理大家都懂，把孩子培養(yǎng)成一個(gè)自信、自愛、自尊、有理想

的人，是所有父母的一大期望。但是，往往越是著急，越是想做到最好，就越容易走錯(cuò)“路”。尤其是那些較為“強(qiáng)勢”的母親，在孩子的教育問題上，更應(yīng)該三思而后行。

記得那天上圍棋課的時(shí)候，老師提問，一個(gè)叫子旭的孩子舉手回答，但是他的答案不是自己想出來的，而是聽到旁邊的孩子說出以后自己又重復(fù)的，并且答案是錯(cuò)誤的。因?yàn)檫@種情況的出現(xiàn)不是一次兩次了，所以老師停止了繼續(xù)講課，問子旭能不能自己思考答案呢？不

要受別人影響？最后老師語重心長的說，老師希望你能夠獨(dú)立思考，不要隨便聽別人的，就算是你媽媽的，你也不能隨便聽。孩子懵懂的點(diǎn)頭，不知道聽懂沒有聽懂老師的意思。當(dāng)時(shí)那個(gè)孩子?jì)寢尣辉冢瑩?jù)我自己一段時(shí)間的觀察，我懂老師的意思。

子旭媽媽自打生了子旭以后，跟單位領(lǐng)導(dǎo)打了招呼，就處在半停職狀態(tài)，人事關(guān)系留在單位，不用去上班，在家全力照顧子旭，衣食住行事無巨細(xì)，必要親力親為，這樣的母親我們怎么能說她不愛孩子呢？

在教育上子旭媽媽可謂也是費(fèi)盡心機(jī)，從很小的時(shí)候就給孩子報(bào)各種班，據(jù)子旭媽媽說最多的時(shí)候同時(shí)學(xué)了6個(gè)班，孩子懈怠的時(shí)候，媽媽可謂是威逼利誘，用心良苦。但是讓她煩惱的是，哪一個(gè)都沒有學(xué)到什么成效，學(xué)了英語，可是還是一句不會(huì)說，學(xué)了珠心算，還是啥也不會(huì)算。

今年他們上了少年宮的學(xué)前班，每天下午的藝術(shù)課選擇的是圍棋，但是感覺孩子學(xué)了半天還是啥也不會(huì)，所以才又到我們這里報(bào)班，期待在兩個(gè)地方同時(shí)學(xué)，能讓孩子有所進(jìn)步。

面對這個(gè)比我們現(xiàn)場所有媽媽都更用心的媽媽，我看到的不是這個(gè)孩子更多的進(jìn)步和成績，而是孩子在強(qiáng)勢母親面前的那些無奈，以及成長中的一些問題。

不管是什么原因造就了家庭里的強(qiáng)勢母親，但是母親帶給孩子的卻是有百害而無一利。在家庭里，父親和母親都有自己的角色，當(dāng)面對強(qiáng)勢的母親，必然就會(huì)有一個(gè)相對弱勢的父親，這樣的家庭里成長的不管是女兒還是兒子都會(huì)出現(xiàn)問題。結(jié)合子旭的情況，我談?wù)剰?qiáng)勢母親對孩子成長易造成的三個(gè)危害。

1、孩子難以獨(dú)立。

強(qiáng)勢的母親一般都是思維敏捷、做事情很麻利的人，所以容易看不慣孩子的做法，不但在生活中包辦孩子的一切衣食住行，也不斷的在用自己的言行來控制孩子?？傆X得孩子的想法不行，必須要按照自己的來，這樣下去孩子很容易就忽略了自己的感受，只是機(jī)械的聽從，失去了培養(yǎng)獨(dú)立解決問題能力的機(jī)會(huì)。

看看子旭上課回答老師問題的時(shí)候都不能獨(dú)立思考，只是機(jī)械的聽旁邊小朋友的意見。在有時(shí)候回答對問題的時(shí)候，總是要忍不住回頭找媽媽，等待媽媽的贊許。

2、孩子容易造成消極抵抗的心態(tài)。

子旭是后來插班到我們這個(gè)圍棋班上的，剛來的時(shí)候上課聽講非常不認(rèn)真，總有小動(dòng)作，老師怎么提醒都不行，子旭媽媽就干脆坐到了子旭身邊，這樣孩子就好好聽講了。后來的情況也就是知道媽媽在呢就好好聽，一旦媽媽不陪著上課的時(shí)候還是小動(dòng)作不斷。

在一個(gè)就是他還有點(diǎn)兒皮，不管老師怎么說他、提醒他總是樂呵呵的看著，過后還是該干嘛干嘛。我想孩子出現(xiàn)這樣的問題，一個(gè)是不太愿意來上課，覺得累，畢竟每周上學(xué)前班的下午都要學(xué)圍棋，這周末還得來學(xué)，無論是心理上還是身體上都有些疲倦。

二是習(xí)慣了媽媽的嚴(yán)格約束，有媽媽在的時(shí)候因?yàn)楹ε聥寢屫?zé)怪，所以就要認(rèn)真，等媽媽不在的時(shí)候，就可以放松了。面對強(qiáng)勢的母親，孩子有很多事雖然不愿意去做，卻無力抵抗，只能順從，但是內(nèi)心里卻是排斥的，所以也就出現(xiàn)了子旭聽課的這樣兩種狀態(tài)。

3、孩子容易失去自信。

有了以上兩個(gè)問題的存在，想要孩子還很自信是不是癡心妄想了？面對強(qiáng)勢的母親，子旭只能奔波的上6個(gè)學(xué)習(xí)班，不能自主的選擇自己喜歡的，在被動(dòng)的接受中學(xué)會(huì)了依賴，這樣的情況下怎么培養(yǎng)自信？

孩子都在逐漸長大，當(dāng)周圍的同齡小朋友都能夠自己獨(dú)立做事情的時(shí)候，你卻還在母親要求完美的理由下繼續(xù)被包辦著，這樣的情況又怎么能擁有自信？當(dāng)孩子對學(xué)習(xí)出現(xiàn)了消極的心態(tài)，疲于應(yīng)付的時(shí)候，又怎么會(huì)成績好起來呢？這樣的時(shí)候孩子又怎么能夠自信起來呢？

希望每一個(gè)媽媽都是一個(gè)溫柔的媽媽，一個(gè)不苛求的媽媽，一個(gè)欣賞孩子的媽媽，一個(gè)允許孩子失敗的媽媽，一個(gè)鼓勵(lì)孩子獨(dú)立做事情的媽媽，這樣我們的寶貝會(huì)更健康的成長。因?yàn)槊恳粋€(gè)問題孩子的后面都有一個(gè)問題家長的存在，是我們要牢記的。

本文由媽媽育兒網(wǎng)（http://15thirdstreetblackrock.com/）小編編輯整理

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