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當(dāng)自由閑散成為一種習(xí)慣，全職媽媽這件事兒也并非不能做

出處：@沫沫的歲月靜好日期：2024-06-11 17:04:13編輯：小編

這幾天身邊有位小姐妹一直碎碎念的糾結(jié)，關(guān)于自己孩子上了小學(xué)之后，自己是繼續(xù)做全職媽媽，還是要尋找一份工作？

身為她為數(shù)不多的閨蜜之一，我非常清楚她的糾結(jié)所在。畢竟我們這種人在中年的年齡，除非是家族企業(yè)或者的確擁有一技之長且無可替代，那么想要在別人的公司中取得一席之地，真的是難上加難。

比你年輕的美女多了去；比你在專業(yè)領(lǐng)域中的知識儲備更新的人多了去；比你能力強(qiáng)了、野心重的人多了去……憑什么一個公司要花錢請你？用你？除非你有足夠強(qiáng)大的能力能夠在市場上占的一席之地，從而取得自己的一份市場份額。簡單地說，就是你的勞動換取你的價值。

很明顯，我這個小姐妹不具備這樣的能力。

另外，這位小姐妹的家境還算不錯，比上不足比下有余，自己的老公掙錢也不少，足夠養(yǎng)家糊口，疫情期間收入也沒有受到任何影響。對小姐妹以及孩子更是用心、用情，雖然說中年夫妻沒有太多的激情，但是親情足夠支撐小家庭的延續(xù)。

而小姐妹的娘家與婆家關(guān)系還算不錯，兩家老人常常一起走動、旅行、約飯，自然對小姐妹也是百依百順，疼寵有加。

小姐妹有兩個娃，大娃今年剛剛升入自己理想的高中，而小娃今年進(jìn)入小學(xué)。兩個孩子還算聽話懂事，大的也能幫忙照顧小的，小的格外崇拜大的。

既然如此，在家中又何妨？

從我個人的經(jīng)驗值來講，陪伴孩子很多年，我一直處在一種慵懶閑散、自由自在的狀態(tài)下；整理整理家務(wù)溜溜娃，隨心所欲翻看翻看自己想看的書，任意妄為的在家庭的方寸之間做自己的女王！

快哉，安哉，常常不知今夕何夕，往往不計得失成敗。

就這樣的狀態(tài)，我陪伴了大寶、姑娘從幼兒園一路走到小學(xué)，又升入中學(xué)；期間又“收獲”了一個小寶，從呱呱墜地，到蹣跚起步，再到牙牙學(xué)語，最終走入幼兒園，又即將走進(jìn)小學(xué)。

其實，很多人說全職媽媽意味著“累、瑣碎以及沒有成就感”。

于我來講，更多的是一種心相。

累，似乎沒有什么；我也幾乎沒有覺得累。雖然是經(jīng)歷了小學(xué)階段每天來回跑8趟家與學(xué)校；雖然也經(jīng)過了陪伴輔導(dǎo)孩子學(xué)習(xí)與作業(yè)的“雞飛狗跳”；對比于很多全職媽媽吐槽的“身累與心累”，我個人的感覺都差不多。

沒有感受到太多的累，當(dāng)然，也沒有感受到太多的成就感。就這樣，平淡如水，夜以繼日。

換句話說，誰沒有過深夜的崩潰？誰沒有過痛徹心扉的經(jīng)歷？只不過一次又一次，人到中年，學(xué)會接受、嘗試看淡、與世界和解才是正道。

所謂的瑣碎，更多的是一種日常。

全職媽媽可能一天的24小時是掰碎了又糅合了，慢慢地、緩緩地又匆匆地做著一天又一天的家務(wù)事，瑣碎事。

可是，在這樣的日子中，我也找到了很多碎片化的時間，去做自己覺得有意思的事情。比如閱讀、比如追劇……

那么，瑣碎也許就不再瑣碎了。所謂相由心生，心安處就是修行，莫過如是。

至于沒有成就感，這樣的事情是一種必然。

全職媽媽更多的成就感源自于孩子，小的時候孩子身體健康不生病，就是全職媽媽的成就；長大后的孩子學(xué)習(xí)成績優(yōu)秀不惹事兒，同樣是全職媽媽的成就。而反之，則是全職媽媽的失職。

如果這樣來看的話，全職媽媽沒有成就感是一種必然；而成就感則完全是一種偶然，畢竟強(qiáng)中更有強(qiáng)中手，不是每一個孩子都是人中龍鳳啊！

但是，這些年的全職媽媽做下來，我倒是覺得這種觀點(diǎn)既片面又沒有意義。

很多時候孩子的成長是看家庭環(huán)境與成長軌跡的。生長在有人愛、有人疼、備受信任的環(huán)境中，孩子的成長一般都錯不了，即便是成績不是出類拔萃，性格方面和為人處世方面，也不必父母過于擔(dān)心。

因為這樣的家庭用自己的“正念”給孩子灌輸了“正”的思想，扎下了“正”的根基。那么有了“正”兜底，還有什么可以擔(dān)心的呢？

所以，若是做了全職媽媽，首先要讓自己內(nèi)心足夠強(qiáng)大，其實調(diào)整自己比強(qiáng)求別人要容易的多，只有好好調(diào)整了自己的身心，才不會動輒就是“玻璃心”，也不會輕而易舉就被打垮。

其次要耐得住寂寞，全職媽媽的交際圈的確非常非常小，那么學(xué)會自娛自樂就非常重要。比如自己看書、自己追劇、自己不斷成長和強(qiáng)大、自己學(xué)會和這個社會和解。

再次不要把自己的幸福攀附在任何人身上，即便是自己的先生、自己的孩子。每個人都有自己不同的生存空間，也會有自己不同的想法，若是太過于在意別人，就會無形中增加自己的煩惱，何必呢？

做到了這些，即便是全職媽媽，你一樣可以活得精彩；當(dāng)然，若是做不到這些，即便是重新殺回職場，結(jié)局也是必然的不快樂！

親愛的，外面沒有別人！不管你人在何方、身處何地，心之所至，幸福所至。

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