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92.8%的家長自認(rèn)為對孩子的成長、教育存在焦慮，能不能消除？

出處：@沫沫的歲月靜好日期：2024-06-12 11:15:45編輯：小編

假期即將告罄，開學(xué)在即，想必有一些孩子已經(jīng)進(jìn)入了瘋狂補(bǔ)作業(yè)的假期進(jìn)程；那么同樣，想必有一些家長已經(jīng)開始進(jìn)入緊張、焦慮、患得患失的狀態(tài)。

前兩天和朋友小聚，她們幾個已經(jīng)為人母的昔日高材生，把自己對孩子學(xué)習(xí)的焦慮，居然“怪罪”到班級群和各種各樣的學(xué)習(xí)群，她們認(rèn)為都是群里各種各樣的信息，把“別人家孩子”的優(yōu)秀展現(xiàn)出來，才讓自己的焦慮無限增加的。

呃……一葉障目，莫過如是吧！當(dāng)初聽說有怎樣的學(xué)習(xí)群，各個瘋狂的掃碼加入，現(xiàn)在又覺得看見別人的“優(yōu)秀”對比出自家的“不堪”，還真真是“欲加之罪何患無辭”?。?/p>

曾經(jīng)，人民網(wǎng)強(qiáng)國論壇開展過一項調(diào)查，結(jié)果顯示：在有子女的被調(diào)查者中，92.8%的家長認(rèn)為自己對孩子的成長、教育存在焦慮。而在全部被調(diào)查者中，98.6%的人認(rèn)為身邊有家長存在焦慮現(xiàn)象。

看來，這種焦慮的心情，并非個案啊！

誠然，現(xiàn)在社會的大環(huán)境如此，大多數(shù)家長很難保持一份“平常心”。

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  • 小學(xué)里別的孩子都已經(jīng)開始了額外的功課，自家孩子怎么選擇？
  • 有沒有興趣班？能不能在班級文藝演出時“露一手”？
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……

日子一天一天過，焦慮一天一天的毫不減少，只是根據(jù)孩子的成長不斷的變化罷了。

天下可憐父母心，莫過如是！

即便是看開了“優(yōu)秀的孩子最終不過交給了國家”，從而寬慰自己孩子學(xué)習(xí)普通平凡也無所謂，將來一家人在一起是另一種幸福。

但看到孩子的成績，立即成為家長焦慮的風(fēng)向標(biāo)。成績差的，依舊要各種的“惡補(bǔ)”，即便是雙減了，但在無數(shù)家長心中，也無從減起！

成績好的，還要更上一層樓，畢竟強(qiáng)中更有強(qiáng)中手。

就是假日里看個《詩詞大會》，都會拽著孩子，發(fā)出無數(shù)的感慨：你看你看，人家才6歲而已！完全無視孩子在自己旁邊翻得大白眼！

在童年時要給孩子輕松快樂無憂的生活，而真正不學(xué)無術(shù)的家長，到了小學(xué)高年級頓時全盤崩潰：孩子為什么會這樣？

家長忽略的是自己不正確的育兒觀念，錯過了孩子不同的最佳學(xué)習(xí)時期罷了。

好的習(xí)慣沒有養(yǎng)成，壞的脾氣增加不少，這就是要孩子隨心所欲的快樂而不管不問的必然結(jié)果。

既有遠(yuǎn)慮也有近憂，怎么會不焦慮？

其實不是家長不想給孩子減負(fù)，而是在同樣的起跑線上，太多的人遙遙領(lǐng)先，太多的人依舊在“卷”，哪個家長敢拿孩子的未來冒險？

我們都說“十年樹木百年樹人”，結(jié)果清晰明了，教育就是一個長期的過程，但是現(xiàn)在“三天學(xué)會寫作業(yè)”“五天掌握中學(xué)詞匯”“一個月提分50”的速成廣告比比皆是，“別人家孩子”無處不在，還哪里來的“靜待花開”？能夠做到不“拔苗助長”就已經(jīng)阿彌陀佛了。

浮躁的、功利的現(xiàn)實，影響著每個人的心態(tài)，讓大家都急于求成，只求結(jié)果而忽略過程，同時也無形中加劇了內(nèi)心的焦慮。

事實上，父母的焦慮在一定程度上可能會推動孩子的學(xué)習(xí)，但焦慮的狀態(tài)如果不調(diào)整，就一定會影響到家庭關(guān)系和孩子的成長。

與其盲目的焦慮，不如坦然和孩子面對一切，成與敗、得與失。

與其不斷地指責(zé)，不如積極挖掘孩子的優(yōu)點，激發(fā)孩子的自信，從而讓他們有勇氣面對挫折，克服困難。

與其與孩子“內(nèi)戰(zhàn)”不斷，不如讓自己適當(dāng)放下，不再為孩子的成長而耗盡心神，擁有自己的生活和興趣，找到“幸福感”才是生活的真諦。

焦慮的家長只能夠培養(yǎng)出同樣焦慮的孩子，而人生是一場馬拉松，一開始沖在前面、贏在前面的不見得是最終的贏家。

想要改變別人很難，尤其是正處在青春期的孩子，與其一味執(zhí)拗的想要去改變他，倒不如適當(dāng)放下，而去改變自己。自己內(nèi)心平靜了，才能夠平和、從容的解決一切問題。

作為父母，放下焦慮，才是根本。

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