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學(xué)會(huì)“斷舍離”，才是父母對孩子最有效的愛，學(xué)會(huì)獨(dú)立很重要

出處：@雪花里的搞笑屋日期：2024-06-21 15:12:55編輯：網(wǎng)絡(luò)收集

很多家庭中，父母和孩子的關(guān)系緊張，造成親子矛盾。造成這些矛盾的原因是父母太過寵溺孩子，以至于孩子缺乏鍛煉，沒有形成獨(dú)立自主的能力。

網(wǎng)上一度出現(xiàn)一個(gè)30歲的巨型嬰兒。這位巨型嬰兒在而立之年依舊依靠父母生活。自己的衣服不會(huì)洗，吃飯還要父母喂。除了沒日沒夜的打游戲，剩下的就是和父母吵架。

原先他的父母只是認(rèn)為孩子受到了生活的打擊，時(shí)間久了就能夠轉(zhuǎn)變“巨嬰”思想。但時(shí)間越久，這個(gè)巨型嬰兒對父母的依賴就越強(qiáng)。以至于這個(gè)“巨嬰”的父母不堪重負(fù)，直到狠心放棄了他。

孩子出現(xiàn)這種情況，多半是父母對孩子太過溺愛，讓孩子對父母產(chǎn)生依賴情緒，反而使孩子失去了獨(dú)立生活的能力。

一、什么是“斷舍離”？

“斷舍離”的概念是有日本的一位女作家首次提出，并逐漸傳播開來，為眾人所推崇和效仿。斷舍離以拋棄一些不必要的舊東西為手段，從而達(dá)到為自己減負(fù)的目的。這個(gè)概念有其社會(huì)根源。

在現(xiàn)今社會(huì)，人們生活壓力的不斷增強(qiáng)，心理疾病爆發(fā)的幾率越來越大。而通過拋棄舊有的東西為自己減負(fù)，能夠達(dá)到內(nèi)心的平靜，從而讓自己擁有一個(gè)愉快的心情。這個(gè)概念最本質(zhì)的含義并不是一種生活方式，而是一種對生活的世界觀。

二、孩子依賴性強(qiáng)的害處

不具備獨(dú)立能力的孩子，通常人際關(guān)系不好。因?yàn)檫@些孩子做什么事情都需要父母或者他人的幫忙。而其他孩子面對這樣的小伙伴時(shí)，很難有耐心去幫助他。

因?yàn)榇蠹叶际呛⒆?，孩子的思維非常的單純：我們在一起玩耍是為了快樂，而你讓我不快樂，我干嗎還和你玩呢？所以不具備獨(dú)立能力的孩子，很難交到朋友。

就像上文中論述的巨型嬰兒一樣，孩子過于依賴父母會(huì)喪失獨(dú)立生存的能力。這些孩子不會(huì)自己穿衣服，不會(huì)自己吃飯，遇到困難就找父母，遇到一丁點(diǎn)的傷害就大哭大叫。雖然在家里面有父母寵著他們，但是在社會(huì)上會(huì)很難立足。

三、父母可以用這4個(gè)方法培養(yǎng)孩子，使孩子減少依賴性

要想培養(yǎng)孩子的獨(dú)立能力，父母要成為孩子學(xué)習(xí)的目標(biāo)。因?yàn)楹⒆优c父母接觸的時(shí)間最長，父母的行為必然會(huì)影響孩子的行為。如果父母過于懶惰，那么孩子也畢竟是懶惰至極的。所以要小孩子獨(dú)立，父母必須要學(xué)會(huì)獨(dú)立。

有些父母生怕孩子受傷害，碰到什么事情都要替他們做。這種行為忽略了孩子的能動(dòng)作用，會(huì)讓孩子在潛移默化中依賴父母。當(dāng)孩子犯錯(cuò)時(shí)，父母會(huì)替孩子承擔(dān)責(zé)任，但父母的做法只會(huì)讓孩子得不到成長。

要想使孩子減少對父母的依賴，就要讓孩子明白自己的行為會(huì)造成什么樣的結(jié)果。并且還要讓孩子去承擔(dān)這些結(jié)果，從而反饋?zhàn)陨?，提高自己?/p>

當(dāng)然我們不提倡孩子依賴父母，但也不提倡孩子不能依賴父母。如果父母對孩子太過殘忍，就會(huì)讓孩子形成錯(cuò)誤的三觀。所以要讓孩子適當(dāng)?shù)囊蕾嚫改福诤⒆永щy時(shí)給予他們幫助。

很多孩子都是父母手中的寶，這樣的孩子缺乏鍛煉，也缺乏獨(dú)立意識。父母要讓孩子多鍛煉，這樣孩子才能夠培養(yǎng)出獨(dú)立意識，從而反饋?zhàn)陨怼?/p>

四、總結(jié)

有時(shí)候父母對孩子的依賴行為過于厭煩，就會(huì)說孩子兩句。但孩子從小未受過一絲委屈，父母的吵罵會(huì)讓孩子覺得受到了天大的傷害。所以會(huì)致使二者的關(guān)系越來越緊張。

父母想要避免這種情況的發(fā)生，就要用科學(xué)且正確的方法培養(yǎng)孩子的獨(dú)立能力。這樣孩子才能夠在社會(huì)立足，才能健康成長。

 

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