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聽勸！千萬不要活成一個(gè)廉價(jià)的中年婦女

出處：@大果小果媽媽日期：2024-06-25 10:29:47編輯：網(wǎng)絡(luò)收集

刷到一位60歲的姐姐，是的，稱之為姐姐，因?yàn)樗恼麄€(gè)狀態(tài)看起來和二十來歲差不多，姿態(tài)年輕有活力，生活隨意又自恰。

很羨慕她的那種狀態(tài)，真希望自己到了五六十歲也能活成那般年輕活力。

觀察身邊的已婚朋友，發(fā)現(xiàn)一個(gè)奇怪的現(xiàn)象：

老是把“唉聲嘆氣過得不好”掛在嘴邊的朋友，往往日子過得艱難又一地雞毛，而習(xí)慣聚焦內(nèi)在關(guān)注自身價(jià)值的朋友，普遍過得有滋有味。

這一感觸也想和大家分享，女人到中年，千萬不要活成一個(gè)“廉價(jià)”的中年婦女。

01

“廉價(jià)感”的6個(gè)表現(xiàn)，希望你一個(gè)都沒有

一個(gè)人就是一個(gè)磁場(chǎng)，你強(qiáng)他人弱，你弱他人強(qiáng)。

婚姻中，也是同理。

那婚姻中，什么樣的人磁場(chǎng)會(huì)弱呢？

這里我想用一個(gè)詞來概括——“廉價(jià)”，話不好聽，但事實(shí)如此，一個(gè)女人在婚姻中過得“廉價(jià)”，那她就輸了。

6種在婚姻中的“廉價(jià)感”，希望你一個(gè)都沒有。

01一切為了孩子，沒有自我

為孩子著想是父母的天性。

但一旦為了孩子，不惜犧牲自己的個(gè)人需求和幸福的心態(tài)，長(zhǎng)久以往，不僅會(huì)把孩子養(yǎng)得驕縱蠻橫，過度的犧牲也會(huì)讓自己感到疲憊、不滿，甚至產(chǎn)生強(qiáng)烈的控制欲。

既不利于孩子健康成長(zhǎng)，也不利于親子關(guān)系，孩子不幸福，自己也過得很苦。

02極度節(jié)儉，有窮病

自己舍不得吃舍不得穿，為了不浪費(fèi)，哪怕吃不下了也要使勁吃，為了玩回本，哪怕累得不行也要待夠時(shí)間；

買東西第一時(shí)間看價(jià)格，時(shí)刻把“太貴了”“買不起”掛在嘴邊，哪怕再喜歡，哪怕預(yù)算內(nèi)，這筆錢也不愿意花。

適度節(jié)儉是好事，但極度節(jié)儉就是窮病了。

03愛嘮叨，到處嚼舌根

偶爾的吐槽，是解壓。

但整天到處嘮叨，哭訴孩子不聽話，老公不體貼，婆婆不講理，亦或是嘮叨帶孩子太累，兒子不關(guān)心，兒媳不好處，都會(huì)讓身邊的人厭煩。

兩三次是別人的談資，別人附和是為了套取更多的內(nèi)幕，純粹吃瓜心態(tài)；四五六七八次就成了別人眼中的祥林嫂，更多的是可憐，而不是同情。

04習(xí)慣付出和討好，永遠(yuǎn)在自我犧牲

付出型和討好型的女人，在婚姻中，都是吃虧的。

因?yàn)?，一味的忍讓和卑微的討好，換來的一定不是尊重，而是理所當(dāng)然，是你沒有價(jià)值，是所有人都認(rèn)為這是你該做的。

人吶，有時(shí)候也得有點(diǎn)脾氣才行。

05沒完沒了的抱怨

心理學(xué)上說，喜歡抱怨的人，會(huì)不自覺地把自己當(dāng)作弱者。

弱者的心態(tài)就是“我不行”“我很差”“我不配”，自我價(jià)值感低，很容易被人拿捏，還不敢反抗。

抱怨不能改變現(xiàn)狀，去做了，才有結(jié)果。

06愛哭鬧，情緒大起大落

成熟的女人，是認(rèn)清婚姻真相后，依然坦然面對(duì)；

而幼稚的人，常常依賴心過重，遇到事情，情緒外泄，一哭二鬧三上吊，惹人反感。

這里，我想說，每個(gè)人的磁場(chǎng)不是一成不變的，和自身的行為有關(guān)，養(yǎng)好磁場(chǎng)就從戒掉“廉價(jià)感”開始吧。

02

女到中年，活出高級(jí)感，你就贏了

和“廉價(jià)感”對(duì)應(yīng)的詞，我想到的是高級(jí)感。

私以為，不管任何年齡段的女生，活出高級(jí)感，無論身處何地，都能安然自恰，過得舒心。

什么樣的活法，才是高級(jí)感的表現(xiàn)？

??有能力獨(dú)立生活，永遠(yuǎn)保持賺錢力

??戒掉不切實(shí)際的期望，腳踏實(shí)地努力過好平凡的日子

??不和爛人爛事糾纏，遠(yuǎn)離讓你不舒服的關(guān)系

??不斷自我精進(jìn)，滋養(yǎng)自信和價(jià)值感

??不精神內(nèi)耗，遇事想開一點(diǎn)，難事看淡一點(diǎn)

??發(fā)自內(nèi)心地欣賞旁人的美，真誠(chéng)地認(rèn)可別人的優(yōu)秀

??對(duì)待感情有所篩選，付出善良留有尺度

??不攀比，不炫耀，孩子也好，家境也罷，知足常樂

??忘掉過往的錯(cuò)，拿得起放得下，增長(zhǎng)及時(shí)止損的魄力

??愛人前先愛自己，照顧好自己也是一件大事

有句話我很喜歡：

“過去的事情就讓它過去，不必反復(fù)咀嚼，一生不長(zhǎng)，重要的事兒也沒那么多，天亮了，又賺了。”

是的，不論我們幾歲，只要我們?cè)敢忾_始，就一切都來得及。

不管以前過得有多糟糕，只要我們篤定自己可以翻身，憋著一股勁勇往直前，就一定能改變現(xiàn)在不滿的種種現(xiàn)狀！

當(dāng)你變得越來越好，其他事情都會(huì)慢慢變得越來越好，孩子也好，家庭也好。

正如心理學(xué)家張怡筠所說：

“你越時(shí)髦，孩子越自信；你身材越好，孩子越驕傲；你越有進(jìn)取心，孩子越勤奮；你越堅(jiān)持做自己，孩子越獨(dú)立。”

結(jié)語(yǔ)

請(qǐng)相信，一切的變好，只是時(shí)間問題。

你需要做的，就是，從現(xiàn)在開始打理好生活，善待好自己，凡事不糾結(jié)內(nèi)耗，看得通透，活得漂亮，有善良有底線，步步坦蕩，自由且富余。

愿我們，在變老的路上，永遠(yuǎn)活出中年少女的氣場(chǎng)，越活越有“貴氣”。

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