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讓人笑掉大牙的兒童笑話錦集大全(2)

出處：媽媽育兒網(wǎng)日期：2014-06-12 15:07:09編輯：Chen

12、有次幾個(gè)地皮欺負(fù)鄰居小孩子鵬鵬，女友正好路過(guò)救下他，這幾個(gè)家伙竟色咪咪要猥瑣女友，女友嚇得大叫："非禮，非禮啦！"

這時(shí)旁邊沖過(guò)好多人來(lái)，嚇跑了這幾個(gè)流氓，鵬鵬興奮的告訴女友，非禮是什么絕招??！這么厲害你一叫就來(lái)這么多人啊，下次我也叫"非禮"。

13、媽媽給兒子講故事："有兩個(gè)人，一男一女，他們天天并肩而行，卻不能交談一句，甚至扭頭看對(duì)方一眼都是奢望。"

孩子打斷了媽媽的話，問(wèn)道："你說(shuō)的是新聞聯(lián)播那倆播音吧！"

14、約翰從外面回來(lái)，手里拿著一張大面額鈔票，對(duì)媽媽說(shuō)："這是我在外面撿的！"

母親不相信，問(wèn)："果真是撿來(lái)的嗎？"

"是真的。"約翰回答，"我還看見(jiàn)那人在找呢？"

15.講話松嘴

爸爸講成語(yǔ)“鷸蚌相爭(zhēng)”時(shí)，說(shuō)：“蚌把強(qiáng)的嘴夾上以后，蚌說(shuō)我今天不松嘴，明天不松嘴。太陽(yáng)就會(huì)把你曬死的！” 6歲的孩子聽(tīng)到這里．問(wèn)爸爸；“蚌說(shuō)話是不用嘴的嗎？” 

“不用嘴能講話嗎？”

“那它講話時(shí)，嘴不就松開(kāi)了嗎？”

16.戒姻糖

媽媽：“這個(gè)廠的大煙囪真討厭。整天冒黑煙．嗆得我都喘不過(guò)氣來(lái)." 小紅：“不要緊，我給您拿爸爸的戒煙糖去。”

17.今天的事今天完成

父親：“凡是今天能完成的事情，一定不要拖到明天。”

兒子：“這太容易了。把餅干盒拿來(lái)！”

18.金魚(yú)染色

父親見(jiàn)兒子把藍(lán)墨水倒到金魚(yú)缸里，便問(wèn)他是什么緣故。兒

子說(shuō)： “金魚(yú)吃了藍(lán)墨水會(huì)變成藍(lán)金魚(yú)呢。”

19.進(jìn)步

弟：“怎樣叫進(jìn)步？”

姐：“今天比昨天做的事情多。”

弟：“爸爸有進(jìn)步，昨天他抽煙在衣服上燒了一個(gè)洞，今天燒了三個(gè)。”

20.進(jìn)步真快

兒子：“媽媽，這次我考試得了第5名，快給我煮個(gè)雞蛋。”媽媽：“好孩子，進(jìn)步真快。媽媽今天給你煮兩個(gè)雞蛋。”兒子：“謝謝媽媽！”

媽媽：“參加這次考試的一共有多少人？”

兒子：“5個(gè)人。”

21.鏡中梨

母親：“你為何對(duì)著鏡子吃梨？”

女兒：“這樣不是可以吃兩只梨么？”

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