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專家：容易導(dǎo)致孩子心理缺陷的6類父母，看看你上榜了嗎？

出處：@沫沫的歲月靜好日期：2024-06-11 18:11:24編輯：小編

我有一位做教師的朋友，曾經(jīng)說(shuō)過(guò)一句話：“根據(jù)孩子在學(xué)校的表現(xiàn)，大致就能判斷出他的家庭是怎樣的，他的父母是怎樣的。”

朋友說(shuō)的根據(jù)孩子來(lái)看父母和家庭，當(dāng)然不是指經(jīng)濟(jì)條件如何，而是指父母的氣質(zhì)和家庭氛圍如何。

一般擁有良好家庭教育的孩子，父母也一定是一個(gè)心理健康的人。也正是這樣的父母，才能處理好與孩子的關(guān)系。

若父母，尤其是母親有著不好的成長(zhǎng)環(huán)境與經(jīng)歷，就很容易導(dǎo)致孩子的心理缺陷。

1、遷怒型父母

遷怒型父母總是很難控制自己的情緒，把自己工作、生活中的不幸或者不順利，帶回到家中，遷怒到無(wú)辜的孩子身上，甚至不惜家暴。

父母的情緒是宣泄出來(lái)了，但是孩子呢？他們年幼的時(shí)候，只能承擔(dān)；逐漸長(zhǎng)大的過(guò)程，就是逐漸反抗的過(guò)程，甚至到孩子成年或者有反抗能力之后，就會(huì)轉(zhuǎn)身變成施暴者。

悲劇就這樣日積月累的產(chǎn)生。

2、控制型父母

控制型父母很好辨認(rèn)，他們的口頭禪是“我是為你好”。

似乎這一句話，就可以代表自己可以安排孩子的一切行為，控制孩子的一切思想?？刂菩透改敢恍陌押⒆赢?dāng)做自己的傀儡，從不關(guān)心孩子內(nèi)心想什么，真正的需求是什么，只關(guān)注孩子是否按照自己的要求去做，是否根據(jù)自己的想法去執(zhí)行。

這樣的家庭，最終孩子的兩種結(jié)果，一個(gè)是“沒(méi)主見”，一個(gè)是“超級(jí)叛逆”，不管是哪種，想必都不是父母的初衷吧。

3、冷漠型父母

這類父母可能因?yàn)樽约簭男【捅容^缺愛，也可能是自己生活中遭遇了變故，因此也不會(huì)去愛別人，本身就缺乏愛人的能力。

比較典型的就像《何以笙簫默》中趙默笙的媽媽，很少和孩子有肢體上的接觸，甚至?xí)懦夂秃⒆拥慕佑|，沒(méi)有擁抱、沒(méi)有愛，對(duì)于孩子的哭泣或者苛求，幾乎沒(méi)有任何回應(yīng)。

缺愛的孩子，人生必將不完滿，孩子會(huì)一心想要得到代償，不管是從祖父母，還是從同伴身上，因此早戀也多出在這類孩子中。

4、炫耀型父母

這類父母往往非常重視自己的面子，在意在別人眼中的形象，而忽略生活的本質(zhì)應(yīng)該是自己掌握的。

他們往往不去考慮孩子真正需要什么，而去逼著孩子去學(xué)習(xí)才藝，只是為了在人前可以表演；關(guān)注孩子的成績(jī)，只是為了證明自己教育的優(yōu)秀；習(xí)慣性在人群中夸耀孩子，把孩子當(dāng)做自己炫耀的工具。

這類父母本身就是失敗的居多，就是那種“自己不會(huì)飛，卻非要下個(gè)蛋，逼著蛋去飛”。孩子在這種情緒的帶動(dòng)下，往往愛慕虛榮或者極容易產(chǎn)生自卑感。

5、完美型父母

完美型父母本身可能是比較優(yōu)秀，或者能夠獨(dú)當(dāng)一面，具有成功的經(jīng)驗(yàn)，事業(yè)家庭都看上去很完美。所以他們往往不允許自己的孩子出錯(cuò)，成為完美家庭的“敗筆”。

可是世事難料，哪里能夠求得萬(wàn)事完美，何況這類父母更容易吹毛求疵，不允許孩子有一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)錯(cuò)誤，而且總是給孩子不斷施壓，只求自己完美的人生不留縫隙。

事實(shí)上這類孩子最經(jīng)不得失敗，次次的成功和完美，很容易讓他失去自我，迷失自我。然而一次失敗的打擊足以讓他崩潰、潰不成軍。

6、善變型父母

這類父母往往意識(shí)不到自己的“善變”，因?yàn)樗麄冏陨硪呀?jīng)習(xí)慣于如此。朝令夕改，全憑自己的喜好而無(wú)視規(guī)則。

對(duì)教育孩子也是如此，心情高興時(shí)，孩子錯(cuò)了也是可以算對(duì)的，或者很容易就放過(guò)的；心情不好了，孩子對(duì)了也是可以找到問(wèn)題來(lái)訓(xùn)斥一番。

對(duì)孩子態(tài)度亦是如此，時(shí)而表?yè)P(yáng)，時(shí)而貶低，時(shí)而熱情，時(shí)而冷漠。這樣的情緒態(tài)度會(huì)讓孩子失去安全感，時(shí)常小心翼翼地對(duì)待母親，小心地摸索怎么樣才能讓父母喜歡自己；與此同時(shí)，孩子還會(huì)懷疑自己，不自信，對(duì)事情也沒(méi)有準(zhǔn)確的判斷力。

還有一類父母比較特殊，他們往往比較年輕，富有朝氣，帶孩子也更趨于情緒化和朋友感。他們更愿意和孩子一起玩耍、一起尋覓美食、用孩子的方法來(lái)對(duì)待孩子。

這類父母的做法并非不好，親密無(wú)間的親子關(guān)系、朋友式的陪伴成長(zhǎng)，往往會(huì)讓孩子無(wú)拘無(wú)束，但同時(shí)也會(huì)對(duì)父母以及其他成年人失去該有的敬畏和尊重。

所以，父母有一個(gè)度還是要把握：你終究是孩子的父母。既要陪伴孩子長(zhǎng)大，還要引導(dǎo)孩子成長(zhǎng)。不能僅僅憑借自己的本能，還要有足夠的方法，理智、科學(xué)的對(duì)待孩子。

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