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輔導(dǎo)孩子功課，把這“三不”原則貫徹到底，媽媽就會輕松自在

出處：@沫沫的歲月靜好日期：2024-06-13 20:39:46編輯：小編

前天上午，陰沉沉的天空忽然飄起雪花，我欣喜地從窗戶里看了一會兒，還沒有來得及拍照，雪居然停了！

正在惋惜的時(shí)候，表妹忽然給我打來電話，一聲“hello”，開心之情溢于言表。我本以為她是和我分享今年冬天初雪的快樂，結(jié)果她卻連聲對我表示感謝，讓我一時(shí)不知是何因何故，我做了何等的好事？

聊了幾句才知道，這段時(shí)間的網(wǎng)課，表妹全程在家里陪伴她兒子，一個(gè)6年級的孩子。本來小升初的孩子壓力就不小，偏偏前段時(shí)間成績又有所下滑，表妹想著好不容易能夠全程參與到孩子的學(xué)習(xí)中來，竟然表現(xiàn)得比孩子還積極。

每天早上早早起床，早餐完畢后，就搬個(gè)凳子坐在孩子的后面，和他一起聽課，記得筆記比孩子還要清晰明了；休息的時(shí)候就催促孩子及時(shí)完成作業(yè)，預(yù)習(xí)復(fù)習(xí)功課，幫孩子批改作業(yè)、上傳作業(yè)；再加上一日三餐、洗衣家務(wù)等等，自己忙得是腳不沾地。

本以為孩子會因?yàn)樗@種“榜樣”的力量而感動，結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)不過是感動了自己而已。孩子卻表現(xiàn)出煩不勝煩的樣子，甚至一度開始和她產(chǎn)生爭執(zhí)、對抗、厭學(xué)……

可是把表妹愁苦壞了。

本是為了孩子好，讓孩子好好學(xué)習(xí)，天天向上；結(jié)果忙忙碌碌，適得其反；給自己的“豬隊(duì)友”抱怨兩句，孩子爹則完全站在孩子的立場上，譴責(zé)表妹不應(yīng)該這樣處處管著孩子，學(xué)習(xí)總歸是孩子自己的事情，何必要做越俎代庖的事情？還出力不討好！

做媽媽的聽了，怎么會不難受呢？

表妹忍不住和我碎碎念，當(dāng)時(shí)淚眼汪汪，覺得這個(gè)網(wǎng)課期間，不止是孩子要“毀”了，就是自己的家庭，也要“毀”了！

其實(shí)，我也覺得她沒有必要如此，往往家長對孩子的惶恐，都是家長不自信的表現(xiàn)，是家長與自己無法和解的結(jié)果。

所以，我給她提了在家中輔導(dǎo)孩子的“三不”原則，建議她不妨先試一試。

1、不做監(jiān)工

普天下的父母都想要自己的孩子能夠?qū)W習(xí)用心、專注吧！但是，古今中外，真正能夠用心、專注學(xué)習(xí)的孩子又能夠占比多少呢？

追根到底，不過是因?yàn)楹⒆拥奶煨允谷涣T了。哪有不愛玩耍的孩子？

所以，孩子用心專注的學(xué)習(xí)，并非是家長、老師做監(jiān)工盯出來的，而是孩子在漫長的求學(xué)過程中，通過不斷的磨合、歷練逐漸形成的。

監(jiān)工，顧名思義是監(jiān)視的一種，試想，誰愿意自己隨時(shí)隨地都在監(jiān)視的狀態(tài)下？不當(dāng)孩子不愿意，家長工作的過程中，若是有人一直監(jiān)工，自己也是不愿意的??！

不做監(jiān)工，并非對孩子不管不問，任孩子肆意妄為。而是要及時(shí)地提出自己的要求和希望、鼓勵(lì)孩子用自己的方式方法去學(xué)習(xí)，隨時(shí)可以為孩子助力，甚至幫助孩子調(diào)整方向、排憂解難，但對孩子本身的要求不會過高，難以達(dá)成。

這樣孩子才能夠逐漸養(yǎng)成好的學(xué)習(xí)習(xí)慣。

2、不盲目施壓

最近關(guān)于培訓(xùn)學(xué)校的整改措施在網(wǎng)上討論得熱火朝天，這應(yīng)該是雙減政策的有力輔助，或者說是加強(qiáng)版。

曾幾何時(shí)，書山題海、培訓(xùn)班，成為孩子生活的全部；尤其是要經(jīng)歷小升初、初升高的孩子，自身年齡不大、自控力弱，家長看在眼中，急在心里，自己又無法親自輔導(dǎo)，只好將希望寄托在層出不窮的輔導(dǎo)班，每年“白花花的銀子”流水一般的花去，孩子的學(xué)習(xí)呢？

好學(xué)生永遠(yuǎn)是金字塔尖的那一點(diǎn)兒而已。不是所有的孩子，在經(jīng)歷盲目施壓、若干培訓(xùn)和輔導(dǎo)之后，都能夠一躍而起的。而塔尖上的孩子，卻早已形成自己的一套學(xué)習(xí)方法，壓根兒就不需要格外的輔導(dǎo)。

所以，家長千萬不要盲目給孩子“加壓”，用“填鴨”的方法，把孩子變成無趣、壓抑的做題機(jī)器，結(jié)果失去學(xué)習(xí)興趣的孩子比比皆是，學(xué)習(xí)效果自然不好。

3、不親臨“戰(zhàn)場”

前段時(shí)間看了個(gè)段子，說現(xiàn)在的家長，脾氣與孩子的年齡成反比。也就是說，孩子年齡越大，家長脾氣越好。當(dāng)孩子上小學(xué)的時(shí)候，家長輔導(dǎo)作業(yè)各個(gè)底氣十足，恨鐵不成鋼；到孩子上了中學(xué)，漸漸開始吃力；等孩子到了高中，家長只剩下做好后勤工作了。

仔細(xì)想來還真是如此。

其實(shí)這就是家長做法不正確的體現(xiàn)。家長的權(quán)威難道就體現(xiàn)在輔導(dǎo)作業(yè)上嗎？當(dāng)孩子遇到學(xué)習(xí)的困難，作業(yè)的不懂時(shí)，從小就要鼓勵(lì)他獨(dú)立思考、深入探究，總要想出一個(gè)自己的方法來解決問題才行；然后家長再和孩子探討方法的正確與否。

而不是作為家長，親臨一線，首當(dāng)其沖地為孩子講解、事無巨細(xì)、精辟透徹，結(jié)果孩子這道題是會做了，思考能力卻沒有了，以后處處依賴父母講解為主，講到中學(xué)怎么辦？講到高中又該如何？

所以呢，網(wǎng)課期間的家長不必太過于焦慮，網(wǎng)課期間的孩子也可能會因?yàn)樵诩业木壒蕦W(xué)習(xí)態(tài)度松懈、學(xué)習(xí)成績下降；但總有孩子會在網(wǎng)課的學(xué)習(xí)期間異軍突起。

而這兩種孩子的區(qū)別，就在于有沒有自律的能力。

自律的能力如何而來？

在于平日的訓(xùn)練，在于父母適度的提醒和監(jiān)督，在于孩子對自我的約束，在于父母對孩子的信心；卻獨(dú)獨(dú)不在于家長時(shí)時(shí)刻刻、眼前身后的監(jiān)督。

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