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家長(zhǎng)與老師的配合，正向孩子就會(huì)輕松，逆向孩子就會(huì)擰巴

出處：@沫沫的歲月靜好日期：2024-06-13 21:07:33編輯：小編

群里一個(gè)媽媽聊天，說起一件事：

老師在班級(jí)群通知沒有帶核酸檢測(cè)碼的孩子家長(zhǎng)，去學(xué)校給孩子送檢測(cè)碼。結(jié)果有位媽媽直接在群里回復(fù)老師說：“在我們家里，孩子的事情就是由孩子自己做。他自己忘記帶了，我沒有義務(wù)給他送，也讓他長(zhǎng)個(gè)教訓(xùn)，看下次還記不記得住。”

過了一會(huì)兒，老師在群里說，每個(gè)家庭都有自己的教育方式很正常，只不過核酸檢測(cè)不是一個(gè)家庭的事情，關(guān)系到整個(gè)學(xué)校乃至學(xué)生們所依附的各個(gè)家庭，甚至是整個(gè)社會(huì)的事情。所以，請(qǐng)孩子?jì)寢屚砩蟿?wù)必帶孩子去做當(dāng)天的核酸，并于第二天準(zhǔn)時(shí)提交。

這位較真兒的媽媽，堅(jiān)持自己的教育原則本沒有錯(cuò)，但是不得不說，的確沒有大局觀，也沒有方法。

孩子的事情自己做，教育的出發(fā)點(diǎn)是正確的，但是所謂“條條大道通羅馬”，并非是非要“一條道走到黑”不是？

在教育孩子上，教育原則可以不變，但是方法是多種多樣的，也是要根據(jù)實(shí)際情況來不斷調(diào)整的。因?yàn)檫@個(gè)世界上沒有完全相同的兩個(gè)孩子，所以任何教育方法都不是萬能的，也不見得是完全適應(yīng)自己孩子的。因此，因材施教才是關(guān)鍵，而最終達(dá)成目標(biāo)才是結(jié)果。

就像這位媽媽，對(duì)著老師“硬剛”，還真是沒有起到想要的效果。

在孩子的教育上，尤其是入學(xué)之后的教育，本就要兩條腿走路，即“家校合一”，家庭和學(xué)校的同一，家長(zhǎng)和老師的統(tǒng)一，才能夠培養(yǎng)出優(yōu)秀的孩子。

也就是說，家長(zhǎng)和老師配合得越好，教育就會(huì)越成功。

而這種配合，絕對(duì)不是“逢年過節(jié)包個(gè)紅包、送份禮，沒事兒再對(duì)老師溜須拍馬”，就算是配合了。

事實(shí)上，優(yōu)秀的家長(zhǎng)在孩子未入學(xué)之前，會(huì)先行培養(yǎng)出孩子的優(yōu)秀，而優(yōu)秀的孩子入學(xué)后就會(huì)在班級(jí)里脫穎而出，得到老師的進(jìn)一步的賞識(shí)，這是正向的循環(huán)；

而一味想要走捷徑、拉關(guān)系、說三道四又盲目攀比的家長(zhǎng)，言傳身教中自然就把孩子給帶偏了，被帶偏的孩子，在學(xué)校的一舉一動(dòng)老師也會(huì)看在眼中?。?/p>

孩子的成長(zhǎng)就像一面棱鏡，可以折射出家庭的教養(yǎng)、父母的涵養(yǎng)、學(xué)校的教育、老師的培養(yǎng)以及全社會(huì)的方方面面。只有家校合一，結(jié)合社會(huì)的實(shí)事，形成教育合力，孩子才能夠展現(xiàn)出燦爛的光芒。

家長(zhǎng)要如何與老師正向配合呢？

理解老師、信任老師

理解老師、信任老師的表現(xiàn)在于：

在孩子入幼兒園的時(shí)候，不要反復(fù)詢問：老師兇不兇？吵沒吵你？打不打人？這對(duì)于幼兒園的孩子來講，是反面的引導(dǎo)，不但得不到正確的答案，還會(huì)徒增孩子的壓力和自己的焦慮。

在孩子入小學(xué)的時(shí)候，不要反復(fù)詢問：老師對(duì)你們班里誰最好？老師是不是特別喜歡你們班的誰誰誰？……

自從孩子入學(xué)后，家長(zhǎng)在乎老師對(duì)孩子的態(tài)度是一定的，在自己手心中捧了幾年的小娃娃，一朝交給陌生的老師陪伴一天，不牽腸掛肚才奇怪。

但是，沒有必要特別強(qiáng)調(diào)老師對(duì)孩子的特殊關(guān)注，尤其是幼兒園的孩子和剛?cè)雽W(xué)的小學(xué)生。說實(shí)話，若是在剛剛開學(xué)之初就引起了老師的特殊關(guān)注，只能是孩子有大問題，而不是孩子特別優(yōu)秀。

另外，家長(zhǎng)需要理解的是，老師不可能像自己對(duì)待自家孩子那樣事無巨細(xì)。這與老師的責(zé)任心無關(guān)，而是角色不同：老師的角色是“傳道授業(yè)解惑”，而非“衣食住行的照顧”。而在教育的方法上，老師應(yīng)該更為專業(yè)和理智。

若是家長(zhǎng)覺得自家孩子受到了不公平的待遇，或者老師的教育理念與自己家庭中的孩子有悖，保持冷靜，私下溝通的效果，會(huì)遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)勝過與老師“硬剛”。

所謂“親其師、信其道”就是這個(gè)道理。

千萬不要在孩子面前流露出對(duì)老師的不滿和不屑，甚至當(dāng)著孩子的面發(fā)牢騷，也不必惺惺作態(tài)地說違心的話（孩子能夠察覺得到），這樣只會(huì)讓小孩子無所適從，讓大孩子桀驁不馴，后果不堪設(shè)想。

雖然我們都希望孩子人生道理上充滿鮮花、掌聲和喝彩，但事實(shí)上，誰又能逃得過坎坷、挫折和失??？

作為老師來講，會(huì)對(duì)孩子的綜合表現(xiàn)有所表揚(yáng)，也有所批評(píng)。那么作為家長(zhǎng)來講，就要理智的看待老師的表揚(yáng)和批評(píng)，只要是準(zhǔn)確的、客觀的在幫助孩子成長(zhǎng)，就要接受、理解并引導(dǎo)孩子：表揚(yáng)是加油站，批評(píng)是為了更上一步，這樣孩子才能夠勝不驕敗不餒。

要知道，老師不可能像家長(zhǎng)那樣，永遠(yuǎn)對(duì)孩子進(jìn)行鼓勵(lì)式教育，有時(shí)候，學(xué)會(huì)直面挫折也是成長(zhǎng)中必不可少的能力。

千萬不要過于強(qiáng)調(diào)自己的教育理念與老師的背道而馳，只要都是為了孩子進(jìn)步，有良好的人格、美好的道德，那么家長(zhǎng)就要學(xué)會(huì)如何和老師更好的正向配合。

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