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沒(méi)出五服的親戚，有多親？搞懂什么是“五服”，才知親戚有多親

出處：@妖精媽媽育兒經(jīng)日期：2024-08-07 11:55:38編輯：網(wǎng)絡(luò)收集

人們回到老家，難免要和老家人的坐下來(lái)聚聚。由于多年未見(jiàn)，很多面孔都已顯得陌生，一時(shí)難以叫出他們的名字。這時(shí)候，家里的長(zhǎng)輩就會(huì)出來(lái)說(shuō)：“說(shuō)你們倆是親戚，一點(diǎn)都不假，屬于沒(méi)出五服的親戚。”

從老人說(shuō)的話，我們不難看出沒(méi)出五服的親戚看來(lái)是真的是關(guān)系很近的親戚了。那么什么是五服呢？

“不能三年之喪, 而緦，小功之察; 放飯流歠,而問(wèn)無(wú)齒決, 是之謂不知?jiǎng)?wù)”這是孟子在與弟子交流時(shí)的一句話，緦就是我們常說(shuō)的五服之一，最后一服了，也算是最親的親戚里最遠(yuǎn)的一服了，是不是有點(diǎn)拗口。

這句話是說(shuō)，做子女的不能為父母守孝三年以報(bào)父母養(yǎng)育之恩，卻要求晚了好幾代的孫子、曾孫、甚至玄孫守孝，反問(wèn)他們?yōu)槭裁床豢拚娴目梢詥?？事?shí)上，隔了這么多代，感情早就淡了，哭不出來(lái)也是正常的。緦指的就是隔了好幾代的孫輩。

中國(guó)人有輕生重死的傳統(tǒng)，俗話說(shuō)“人死為大”，因此古人對(duì)人死后的喪事流程也是有很詳細(xì)的規(guī)定的，喪禮上著裝、頭繩、喪杖的材質(zhì)、形狀、款式都有嚴(yán)格的規(guī)定。五服就是葬禮上對(duì)不同身份親人著裝的要求，根據(jù)材質(zhì)、款式分為了斬衰、齊衰、大功、小功、緦麻五種。喪禮舉辦時(shí)，關(guān)系最近的穿斬衰，次之穿齊衰，再次之穿大功，遠(yuǎn)一點(diǎn)的穿小功，關(guān)系最遠(yuǎn)的穿緦麻。不像現(xiàn)在，葬禮禮儀完全西方化，參加葬禮的人不管關(guān)系遠(yuǎn)近都是深色正裝，胸帶小白花，胳膊上戴個(gè)黑紗就得了。古時(shí)候，不同喪服的材料不同，款式不同，守孝的時(shí)間也不同。

斬衰，一般是死者的兒子、未嫁之女穿的，守孝三年。這一服是有最粗劣的麻布制成，四周都不縫邊。

齊衰，一般是親叔侄等喪服，守孝一年或五個(gè)月，不杖期6個(gè)月，這一服由稍粗的麻布制成，四周縫邊。

大功，一般是堂叔侄關(guān)系，守孝為9個(gè)月，喪服用粗熟麻布制作，布料要白很多。

小功，一般是從侄、從孫關(guān)系，守孝期5個(gè)月，喪服用稍粗的熟麻布制作。

緦麻，一般是族兄弟，守孝期3個(gè)月，喪服是有細(xì)熟麻布制作。

由此可見(jiàn)，關(guān)系越近，喪服的質(zhì)地越差。

除此之外，還有兩種喪服，一個(gè)是降服，一個(gè)是反服。古時(shí)候，重男輕女的觀念很重，如果長(zhǎng)子膝下無(wú)子，弟弟就會(huì)把自己的一個(gè)兒子過(guò)繼給哥哥。當(dāng)?shù)艿苋ナ篮螅^(guò)繼子不必服斬衰之喪，只服齊衰之喪即可，但是訃告上會(huì)寫(xiě)上降服子，這就是降服。反服，顧名思義就是長(zhǎng)者服晚輩之喪，即父服子喪。

在講齊衰的時(shí)候，我提到了杖期，執(zhí)不執(zhí)喪杖守孝的時(shí)間是不一樣的。所謂的喪杖就是一根直徑為十幾公分的木棍，外面用刺狀白紙包裹，根據(jù)去世人的身份不同，喪杖的材質(zhì)也不同。

死者為男性，喪杖用竹子制成，因竹子是圓形似天、性貞潔，四時(shí)不凋，表明了父禮痛極，自然圓足之意。死者為女性，喪杖桐木制作，削成方形，外形像地，桐木實(shí)心表子女終身孝心。此外，桐與同讀音相近，表明子女對(duì)母親的孝心與父親相同。

由此可見(jiàn)，古人對(duì)死的重視，喪禮上的每一個(gè)細(xì)節(jié)都不是隨便安排的，都蘊(yùn)藏著中華民族博大精深的文化內(nèi)涵和華夏兒女的拳拳孝心。

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