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讓孩子走出自卑心理的5方法

出處：媽媽育兒網(wǎng)日期：2015-07-30 12:41:33編輯：Chen

自卑是一種不能自助和軟弱的復(fù)雜情感。有自卑感的人輕視自己，認(rèn)為無(wú)法趕上別人。自卑，可以說(shuō)是一種性格上的缺陷。表現(xiàn)為對(duì)自己的能力、品質(zhì)評(píng)價(jià)過(guò)低，同時(shí)可伴有 一些特殊的情緒體現(xiàn)。也是一種自我否認(rèn)，對(duì)自己沒(méi)有信心，也對(duì)自己不認(rèn)同的心理表現(xiàn)。

過(guò)高要求自己的孩子，會(huì)使他們時(shí)時(shí)處處被包圍在批評(píng)乃至埋怨之中。長(zhǎng)此以往，孩子們的自信便會(huì)喪失殆盡，從而導(dǎo)致他們?cè)谧雒恳患虑岸紩?huì)在潛意識(shí)中對(duì)自己做出諸如“我不行”、“我笨”、“別人就是不喜歡我”等等的否定。這樣的孩子無(wú)疑是有問(wèn)題的。而要幫助孩子擺脫自卑的陰影，父母首先應(yīng)改變自己對(duì)孩子的態(tài)度，以此重樹(shù)孩子的自信心，讓孩子懂得自我肯定。

1、強(qiáng)化孩子的自我肯定

對(duì)自卑情緒嚴(yán)重的孩子來(lái)說(shuō)，他心中的自我肯定往往是脆弱的，飄搖不定的，因而極需要得到外界經(jīng)常不斷的強(qiáng)化。強(qiáng)化孩子的自我肯定方法很多。

如：可讓孩子為自己記一本“功勞簿”，讓孩子每周花幾分鐘時(shí)間寫(xiě)出(或畫(huà)出)自己的“功勞”，并告訴孩子，所謂“功勞”，并不一定非得是了不起的成就，任何小小進(jìn)步，以及為這種進(jìn)步所做出的任何小小努力，都有資格記載入冊(cè);也可為孩子準(zhǔn)備一些小小的獎(jiǎng)品(如畫(huà)片、玩具、小人書(shū)等)。

每當(dāng)孩子做出了一點(diǎn)成績(jī)，或一件令他自己感到自豪的事，他就有可能獲獎(jiǎng);你還可以教孩子學(xué)會(huì)以“自言自語(yǔ)”的方法不斷對(duì)自己作出贊揚(yáng)--當(dāng)孩子遇到困難正躊躇畏縮時(shí)，你不妨鼓勵(lì)他自己對(duì)自己鼓勁：“來(lái)吧，小朋友，你可是一個(gè)不怕失敗的好孩子，再作一次努力吧!”

2、合理自我肯定

值得父母注意的是，自我肯定也應(yīng)有個(gè)度，要分時(shí)間、場(chǎng)合，使用時(shí)更需遵循一定的原則、標(biāo)準(zhǔn)和尺度。

這就和用藥一樣，再好的藥一旦用得“霸道”了，非但起不了治病救人的效果，還會(huì)派生出新的問(wèn)題。因此，鼓勵(lì)特別自卑的孩子多作自我肯定，并不意味著應(yīng)該讓他“濫用”自我肯定。

3、降低要求

對(duì)待已有自卑心理的孩子，父母應(yīng)適當(dāng)降低對(duì)孩子的要求。假如孩子畫(huà)了一匹馬，那么你最好不要過(guò)多地挑剔這里不好、那里不像，而應(yīng)對(duì)孩子的每一成功之處予以發(fā)現(xiàn)并做出由衷的贊賞：“看，那馬尾巴畫(huà)得真好呀，好像是在風(fēng)中飄舞一樣!”或者“你為馬涂的顏色真漂亮!我敢說(shuō)這可是世界上跑得最快的馬兒!”

需要強(qiáng)調(diào)的是，你應(yīng)該讓孩子覺(jué)得：你對(duì)孩子的贊賞完全是誠(chéng)懇的，而不是應(yīng)付的，客套的，更不應(yīng)該是虛偽的，做作的。為了實(shí)現(xiàn)這樣的目標(biāo)，你須在思想方法上做出調(diào)整，在表述上講究藝術(shù)。

其實(shí)，讓自卑孩子學(xué)會(huì)自我肯定的首要目標(biāo)即是：幫助孩子從自己的行為中獲得滿(mǎn)足和動(dòng)力。我們應(yīng)該讓孩子懂得：做該做的事，并且把它做好，這本身就是成功，也是對(duì)自己的最好的肯定。

4、表?yè)P(yáng)的方法

讓孩子多作自我肯定的一個(gè)最簡(jiǎn)單方便的方法是變更你對(duì)孩子做出的所有的表?yè)P(yáng)的主語(yǔ)：只要把“我”改成“你”，把“我們”(父母)對(duì)你(孩子)的表?yè)P(yáng)改造成你(孩子)對(duì)自己的表?yè)P(yáng)。這種簡(jiǎn)單的變化能夠更充分讓孩子認(rèn)識(shí)到自己的行為是正確的，從而起到增加對(duì)孩子贊賞的效果。

如：“你今天用積木蓋起了這么高的大樓，我真為你感到自豪!”可改為：“你今天用積木蓋起了這么高的大樓，你一定為自己感到了自豪!”

5、不必看重別人的評(píng)價(jià)

父母可以對(duì)自卑的孩子多作表?yè)P(yáng)，但其他人卻不一定能完全做到這一點(diǎn)。他們或許會(huì)“實(shí)話(huà)實(shí)說(shuō)”，甚至諷刺挖苦。此外，孩子不可能永遠(yuǎn)地依賴(lài)別人的評(píng)語(yǔ)，而遲早要依靠自己內(nèi)心的動(dòng)力前進(jìn)。

有些孩子完全依賴(lài)成年人的贊許，連怎樣認(rèn)可自己都不知道了。這樣的孩子如果長(zhǎng)大了成了個(gè)球員，那就可能在比賽時(shí)每打出一個(gè)球就會(huì)回頭看看教練的臉色，這樣自然他就難以成為一個(gè)成熟的球員。不妨指出他的正確之處，然后提醒他不必過(guò)分看重別人的評(píng)論。

如果由于孩子做了一件錯(cuò)事而遭到了批評(píng)，會(huì)使他們一下子感到失去前進(jìn)的方向。此時(shí)父母應(yīng)引導(dǎo)孩子正確對(duì)待別人的批評(píng)，即承認(rèn)錯(cuò)誤并進(jìn)行改正。當(dāng)孩子主動(dòng)承認(rèn)了錯(cuò)誤時(shí)，你完全可以告訴他：“你這樣做很不容易，因?yàn)檫@可需要很大的勇氣，你可以對(duì)自己說(shuō)你做了一件了不起的事。”

本文由媽媽育兒網(wǎng)（http://15thirdstreetblackrock.com/）小編編輯整理

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